basically its obvious that im facing some major problems..idk why it seems so sudden..it takes time for me to get things over..so i will resume after im ready to face the reality..i noe i rather had hard times then crying over something that will impossibly happen..i really hope ue give us a chance..we noe we shuld understand ue in every way and accept ue for who ue really are..not only i suffer..him too..ue don't noe how much ue meant to us..we just forgot to tell ue how we both felt about ue...idk that was our last moment together..the laughter..smile..pictures..and i really donno that when we three hold hands..it was the last..i have learn that we have to cherish every moment with your love ones cause you might not noe it will be the last..im very lucky to still have aisyah..my use to be best friend..i've not contacted her for long..i really miss her..but now we both seems to get closer..since the tragedy which occurs at hakeem's open house..my former bf is officially her bf..haha its funny..well life must go on..as for my ex..his really afraid when aisyah get so close with me..i gotta end it here peeps..cause i don't wanna elaborate..
yesterday was history...

p.s:i hope for a miracle to happen on my bdae..


good bye for now..


sorry for not updating..many things happen to me recently...to0 many..and im to0 lazy post all of it..grr..fuck BIG MAC!it developed a thing call lazyness when i ate it..my body felt heavy and get tired often..idk..it really do sound funny..well enuf of that fucking shit!


almost three days.i still didn't get much sleep.now waiting for for my turn to play that psp:)..azri last min cancel his plan of catching house of bunny but postponed it on mondae.im a lil bit upset cause he gave unreasonable reasons :) see ya on mondae then..but azri ..mimi having his physic and chem paper on mondae..how to visit him..we can't be selfish aite. thought of wishing mimi personally.nvm lah..tmr meeting hanisah at parkway to grab new zealand's ice cream.ouhk now psp is calling me..bye readers


i had not slept for almost two daes..i cant sleep when guilt surrounds me.its funny cause tmr i need to go school for choir..with my orange brown hair?can i enter the school?trying to sleep but accidentally drank milocafe(milo plus nescafe) and now my eyes are wide open..dark circle are starting to develop around my eyes..i don't wanna look like panda -__-".didnt ate much this few daes.today i ate fruits,fruits and more fruits..i wanna be someone new by 2009.ouhk now my stomach starts to grumble but i have to wait till thursdae to get my proper meal.im not gonna eat rice and other carbohydrates.

i really wanna noe how much weight i lost.but that freaking scale is gone.thnks to owner of the house who does not noe where they left it.GREAT!


went out with hafsah today..evrything turn out smoothly with her..it was fun looking for bdae present..headed to tamp at first..nthng there so move on to bugis..but i bought my stuff instead..hafsah and i really don't noe what to get for them..but in the end we found it at bugis basement -__-".nothing much of a suprise.well later accompanied hafsah to buy a big bdae card for her sis.Later mimi decided to meet me up.he was with hakim.Hafsah wanted to go back so i send her off at the mrt station.

left me,mimi and hakim.But some misunderstanding happen between hakim and i.When fire meet another fire it will definitely explode aite.im quiet devastated with what happen.This time i did not retaliate.i just chill uh but at the same time felt frustrated.actually me and hakim supposed to chill out at town after mimi went back.in the end both of us went our own ways.my plan of bonding with hakim was ruin.i don't noe if he can forgive me.but seriously i did no nothing at all.but i give in to ue cause i need time to understand ue kimmy.

To Hakim if you are reading this....

im really sorry of what happen.i really wanna talk to you.but ue refuse to reply my msg.both of us make our dear mimi cry u noe.he was scared that we will be like this forever.pls hakim we come from different backgrounds so it takes awhile for us to get to noe each other better.really sorry aite.im trying very hard to smile and just go with the flow.just cool down todae.take your time to reply.


today nothing much happen..woke up as usual..do my chores to get some earning...mom say she would pay me..end up doing that fucking chores just for extra cleaniless..do i look like a maid..forget about that.so then i ate my branch and later vomitted again..hmm....hahaha oh well..im still alive aite?im rotting at home..come on..can anybody ask me out?life is such a bore uh...i need a break..


today..i wanna start a new life..im sick of being a paranoid cause some people still don't understand..i don't want my life to be destroyed just because of my jealousy..it does not worth anything loving someone who don't love you..i start to flashback those memories we had..those sweet nor bitter..its still considered as a journey in life aite?well memories will be kept as memories..now im learning not to be selfish and learn how to give in to the rest eventhought it maybe hard for me...i start to realize..all this while..i myself created this problem..yes i admit it..im really sorry to those who got affected..actually i really wanna thank a friend of mine..we mae not be close..but i really appreciate him..matt thanks for the advice..i will take your words..and to you..don't get confused aite..thanks for bringing up my spirit..and also thanks for sharing your thoughts with me..god will always be by your side..hafsah and i too will be by your side if you need any help...you can always count on us...after that raya outing,i start to lose my appetite..i have not eaten a proper meal..it could be a sign of bulimia..wdv eh..

well...i was nearly knock down by a taxi yesterday..phew!!that was really close..if you think i created this well fuck you then..before i end i wanna apologise to some frens of mine

azmi:i don't wanna complain to you anymore..your Os are coming...i will not bother you aites bro..giwe ACUBE..

azri:same goes to you...ehk bro kalau nak keluar picit gua..alrite bro...giwe ACUBE..

dhiah:i don't wanna fight nor quarrel with you...just wanna make you happy...but i got this instead...thanks ehk..btw don't worry i won't bother to start a fight again...gua dah relax sister..
ape mau gaduh2...giwe sisters babe..

syiqah:lu pon sama...maaf banyak2..susah kan ue and the rest..giwe sisters babe..

rusy:lu pon sama jugak...a thousand apology...giwe sisters babe...

dengan sewaktu denganye....IM SORRY AITES!!!


im so sorry i need to end it here..
too many backstabber living around me..
too afraid to speak up..
too afraid to face strangers..
too afraid to face reality..
do god really need to punish me in this way?
i had enough of all the heartache..
i had enough of all the hatings..
do you guys even care...
life is so unfair..
when do people start realising thier own mistakes?
when can people stop blaming each other?
i just can't wait to see it end..
when life is back to normal..
no more fightings..
no more misunderstanding..
no more quarreling..
girls will always be girls..
boys will always be boys..
each and everyone of us have our own egos..
maybe all of us don't relise its existance..
why can't friends apprieciate one another?
your actions speak louder than words..
when will be the time for us to understand the meaning of friendship?
when will be the time for people start to treasure and value friendship?
is it true jealousy can ruin friendship?







sorry for not updating my blog for weeks..my papers are over..im free..2 months of vaccation..what should i do besides growing and learn music?maybe i should lose some fats..

Hari Raya:boring..not as usual..family conflict..none turn up to apologise..adults are childish..hari raya ang pao is enuf to pay my debts..im broke for the rest of the month..

My upcoming schedule:

4oct-balik kampong
-dye my hair red
-watch movie
5oct-rot at home
6oct-open house at hakeem and haikal 's house.
7 oct-grocery shopping for pit
8oct-bbq pit and thorn
9 oct-sleep
10 oct-jalan raya with school mates..

thats about all..

stories to share:well today i learn the true meaning of patient.when akmal said that even if you cry he won't retaliate..i noticed actually he did...but through his patience..like when he was bullied by brainless morrons..he just kept quiet..he maybe weak inside...deep inside him..he is stronger than i thought..that is why he is my superhero,my bestfriend,my boyfriend,my rival,my love...thats the real reason why i like him..his looks is not really important to me after all..